Manly Love

February 22, 2009 by dave.

Manly Love

 

 

Oh come on, I said.

I do love you, I pled.

 

Remember the year ‘75?

A great time to be alive.

 

A MODEM for Mothers Day

And a printer for your birthday?

 

 

What more could you ask?

To what other task

Could I have committed

To win your love un-remitted?

 

Even the ribbing I took at work

Did not make me from my course shirk.

 

 

In ‘01 you’ve got to admit

The Embroidery Machine did indeed fit.

Over a diamond (well, moissanite) ring,

You did choose that sewing thing.

And through the years, my love still abounding,

In ‘08 you got the HDTV astounding.

 

 

Oh, my dear, she said,

I’m still glad I thee wed.

 

The MODEM did help me through school,

In my profession it was a great tool.

The Printer made my papers less a chore.

Before that I did them abhor!

The HDTV I adore,

Watching O’Reilly thrills me to the core.

 

 

So, all in all, I do agree

It’s possible you do love me …

 

 

BUT, flowers would have really been nice!

 

 

(Subject: Humor)

Written in response to a challenge to write a “love” poem …

 

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Our State Fair is the best State Fair

October 14, 2008 by dave.

Yesterday was very eventful.  We set out with four of our grandchildren to take in the State Fair.

Our first problem was that I, the one who never forgets, couldn’t remember closing the garage door.  This resulted in a loss of about 6 miles and 15 minutes.  Yes, the garage door had been shut …

Our second problem was going to the wrong grocery store to obtain reduced rate tickets.  Our informant stated the Tom Thumb was the place, but Kroger was the real place.   Another 5 miles and 15 minutes.

Our third problem was a blowout of the driver side front tire in the fast lane of the freeway (with no shoulder).  The tire was completely destroyed.  We were driving our 4 door truck in order to accommodate the four kids and two adults.  This truck seems to have a problem.  We have only lost one of the original tires by wear with two others; one by blowout (passenger side front) and one that went completely flat sometime during the night while sitting on the driveway because of (as we found later) a belt poking was through the inside of the tire.   So, there we were with a tire blown, our flashers going, people almost running into us before they realized they had to do something and I was trying to change a tire.  Fortunately a Good Samaritan in a really big truck came behind us, turned his flashers on also and helped (actually did most of the work), and I really would thank him personally if I had had the presence of mind to ask his name.  Fortunately my wife had the presence of mind to call 911 so that a police car came up with its lights flashing.  These policemen and women were extremely helpful and very supportive:  Thanks, Dallas Police!!  Well, it was a long and complicated problem, but, with the spare finally in place, the police stopped the freeway and we crossed 4 lanes of traffic to the access road and went to a tire store directly across the freeway.  Another hour lost on that fiasco.  I tried to contact our “road hazard” insurance people, but their response time would have been longer than changing the tire.

We finally made it to the fair.  The kids complained of all the walking, the heat, the congestion and etc.  But, they admitted that a good time was had by all, especially after the dinner (outside the fair where 16 oz. sodas were selling for $3 and the cotton candy for $4, which we bought anyway) at WhatABurger.  Of course, the rides and the guy doing tricks on the bike contributed to the fun also.  Finding a game where every kid won something was a great thing also, even if it did cost about $5 for each prize.  So, tired (there’s a pun there if you look for it) and hungry we faced the traffic and headed homeward.

I now remember why I hated going to State Fairs when our own kids were younger and vowed never to do it again.  I made that vow again, but will probably break it again if the grandkids ask … even though the youngest just had to use and caress several restrooms.

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Simple, But Effective

May 1, 2008 by dave.

It is amazing how effective simple communications can be. I well remember a very simple communication that took place in Rochester, New York early in the spring of 1973.

Rochester had been having a long spell of gloomy, cloudy weather lasting at least 45 days. During those days, the sun had not been able to pierce the clouds for a single moment. On that memorable day, the local newspaper, the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle, placed on the right-hand editorial page a full page black and white photograph of a sunrise. The only text on the page was, “Lest We Forget”, written in huge type.

No more needed to be said. The message was clear and distinct. However, to someone who had not experienced those 45 days in question, the message was likely to be neither clear nor even meaningful.

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The Good Old Boys and the Deputy

April 23, 2008 by dave.

I’ve heard lots
of stories of the old style southern justice, but, here is one in
which I was actually involved. It’s sort of fun and may actually
represent exactly what is implied.

Some years ago,
I was the company representative that interfaced with a multitude of
safety related bodies—UL, CSA, OSHA, etc. Usually a representative
would come from one of these bodies to inspect a new product or one
of our production facilities, go over our documentation and etc.

On one memorable
occasion, two gentlemen in proper, for the time, gray flannel suits
arrived—one from Long Island and one from upstate New York. They
completed their necessary inspections and found that they had some
free time. They decided that they’d like to get away from the
Metroplex and see some real “down home” Texas life.

Therefore, we
headed for a nice little cafe I knew of which featured down home
cookin’. The cafe was located across the street from the courthouse
in a small county seat. We settled in for a some biscuits and gravy
along with CF (Chicken Fried Steak) and other goodies.

In the next
booth several good old boys were discussing items of great
importance—such as the value of certain knife. They were
apparently having a good time and greatly amusing my New York
visitors when along came a deputy, in full uniform including a Texas
Ranger style hat, from the courthouse across the street.

While I must
paraphrase what the deputy actually said, it went something like
this, “I need a quick jury”. The reaction from the “boys”
was negative. So, the deputy further offered, “It won’t take
long—all you have to do is listen for a few minutes and give a
guilty verdict”. The reaction was still negative.

By now, the eyes
on my New York visitors had grown very large with the whites showing
dramatically!

The deputy upped
the ante further, “Come on, it’ll be over in 15 minutes and then
we’ll go have a poker game”. That did it. They shuffled out
heading for the courthouse.

There was a lot
of silence from my visitors and I suspect that they were trying to
fit that experience into their own frame of reference. I sometimes
imagine that they were considering that the sheriff type featured in
movies like “Cannonball Run” just might have been closer to the
truth than they had ever imagined.

I have also
often wondered how often that story was told around the office water
cooler or copier when they got back.

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The Dog Next Door

April 17, 2008 by dave.

Because I have a good relationship with our next-door neighbors, I have the privilege of walking, jogging or running with their dog, Wylie. We’ve become rather good buddies. In fact should he see or hear us in our backyard, he comes to the fence to see what is going on.

I must admit that I often spoil Wylie by feeding him through the fence. He really enjoys the food and the attention. I really enjoy that fact that he forces me to exercise …

We have quite a symbiotic relationship.
Long live Wylie (and, of course, longer live me).

 

 

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The Day I Flew

April 13, 2008 by dave.

I was pedaling
furiously, putting all the muscle into the drive that a 12 year old
could muster, heading for the precipice. I was covering the ground
of the newly laid playground asphalt as smoothly and rapidly as
possible. I was breathing heavily, not only because of the exertion,
but also because of my excitement—I was going to fly!

I aimed for a
few feet to the right of the stairs and knowing that no one was
around to laugh if I failed, propelled myself over the edge.

Hardly a moment
later, I found myself lying on the lower playground near the drinking
fountain. My bike was a few feet away, one trouser leg was torn at
the knee cap and my knee lacerated. Musing on this singular
experience, I limped away, my thoughts scurrying to find a plausible
explanation to tell my mother.

* * * *

Did I go on to
become a pilot? No, I became a physicist so that I would understand
why I didn’t fly—I just fell—without style.

Sequel

Some months
later, the front fork of that bicycle broke, sending me into the
gravel along side the road right in front of the state prison. I was
quite a ways from home with a two piece non-rideable bicycle.

So much for
flying!

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Does Zero Tolerance Really Equate to Zero Intelligence?

December 1, 2007 by dave.

From my private observations in the recent past, it does really seem that Zero Tolerance equates to Zero Intelligence.

Case in point:

A local school district has decreed that student must wear solid color clothing.  They have further stated that the color of pants must be Khaki, black or Navy.

OK, so what does this have to do with zero tolerance?  Well, what color is “navy”?
It seems that different fashion designers have very different ideas as to this color really is.
So, what’s a math teacher to do, but decide that navy (have you looked it up on the color tables?) is the color of a certain navy blue chair.
Thus, a student whose “navy” pants doesn’t match that chair is subject to detention!

Suggestions were made to the district that should they agree that that chair’s navy is the one and only navy then color samples should be made available so that students don’t buy non-authorized navy pants.  This suggestion was ignored.
So, how does one determine whether their navy is the school’s navy?  Why bring it to the principal and a determination will be made …

Hey Principal, how about coming on our next shopping trip?

General Philosophy:

The purpose of almost all bureaucracy is to reduce everything to a set of rules (has anyone tried to read some of the OSHA stuff on a “means of egress”?) that anyone can interpret, then hire special inspectors and carefully train them and then find that they all interpret the rules differently.  This leaves one with a few options:

1. Make the rules totally complete so that no intelligence is required in interpreting them (refer to OSHA again). 
   
2. When interpretation is required, use the most restrictive interpretation (expel a student in whose transportation is found a dull table knife, not a dangerous weapon).  After all, it is a knife and the rules state that having knives is an expellable offense.  Has anyone wondered about plastic knives?
3. Have specially trained experts available at all times to interpret the rules.

According to some sources, Abe Lincoln either quoted someone else, or stated the problem thusly, “Common sense is very uncommon”.

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And the Floods Descended

August 27, 2007 by dave.

Last year, I wrote about the devastating fires that decimated the flora on the Oak City hills.  I also mentioned that the “Fire Danger” signs had been replaced with “Flash Flood Warning” signs.

Well, it has happened.  In July of 2007, a drenching rain fell on the Oak City mountains.

The rain, finding that there was no vegetation to stop its progress, descended from the mountains in great sheets.  The stream beds not only overflowed, but they washed out roads in the canyons and in the valley below, brought great loads of rocks, gravel, tree branches and other debris, and blocked other roads with that debris.

Thousands of sand bags were used in the effort to prevent flooding of housing, but, still some homes were damaged.

The effects of a flood; water laden with dirt, debris and other can be almost unbelievable!

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My Favorite Browser

October 25, 2006 by dave.

I recently downloaded Firefox 2.0. I am greatly impressed.

Right now I am writing this blog in the Performancing add-on which allows me to compose right in Firefox and then to publish, without leaving the browser.

With the variety of add-ons that are available, Firefox has become a “Swiss Army Knife” app. Some of my favorite add-ons:

Adblock - Adblock Plus: Does exactly that and pretty well
All-in-One Sidebar: Get to all the add-ons quickly
McAfee Site Advisor: Watch out for red and take care on the gray sites. Go for the Greenies.
ReminderFox: Right there in the browser all your todos and reminders.
StumbleUpon: More fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Admitting how old I am, I remember seeing a barrel full of monkeys having fun on an old TV Show, “You Asked For It!” This is better. Put in your preferrences and you will stumble upon some fascinating websites.

The add-ons are available from: https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/recommended/

Enjoy …

powered by performancing firefox

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Software that I have known and loved

October 9, 2006 by dave.

I judge software on its ability to do what I want. That is, I don’t really care about its pedigree, the number of features that it has or how pretty it looks. I care what it does for me. Also, and most importantly, I am a cheapskate!! So, what does that mean to anyone else? Probably not much, but I am going to tell whoever reads this about my favorite software, so don’t complain to me that I don’t list your favorite.
Do that on your own website.

Disclaimer: Were I making a list of software to be used for commercial / professional production, this list would be very different.

I will try to break things down into groupings, but these groupings will be rather loose. My first offerings will all be Microsoft Windows® programs.

I’ll give my Linux favorites later—many of them being the same programs.

So, here goes …

NOTES: Xxx^o means Open Source, Xxx^f means free and Xxx^sw means Shareware.

Microsoft Windows® compatible software

Word Processing:

Words

• Just words and nothing else, good old Notepad.
  

• Plain text with tabs to have more than one open document, NoteTab Light^f.

Formatted words:

• 95% of my word processing is done in Open Office^of.
  For me, Open Office does everything that I want an office suite
  to do. It is compatible enough with Microsoft’s product to be
  interchangeable for all but a few esoteric functions, such as really
  complicated automatic addressing and etc. Nothing that I have done
  wouldn’t interchange completely.

• Atlantis^f
  (free version) is a very small word processor that opens quickly.
  If I am using Open Office, I usually leave it open all the time. I
  hate to wait for it to open. If Open Office is not open and I just
  need a short piece of work, I use Atlantis. Please note, however,
  it offers only RTF file output. The free version does not come with
  a spell checker, but, again, it one wants to quickly dash off nice
  looking (formatted) email, etc. I find it very useful.

Office Suites:

• Of course, I use Microsoft Office. On some occasions, complete compatibility is still a necessity.
  I also have Corel Word Perfect mainly because my wife loves and uses it exclusively.
  However, at this time, 95% of the office work I do — mostly involving word processing, but also a few
  databases, spreadsheets and presentations — is done using Open Office^of.

Internet:

• For HTML, PHP, or CSS, I use PSPad^f.I especially like PSPad’s default use of color to highlight coding.
  It fits my programming style, it knows different languages and it is fast. The quick preview in an IE base browser is very useful also. Its tabbed interface allowing multiple open documents is, to my mind, a very useful feature.

• I could also use PSPad for the items for which I now use NoteTab Light, but have so much stuff already in NoteTab that I probably won’t get around to moving. (It’s because I am rather lazy and also because NoteTab has some really nice features, e. g., libraries of useful quick inserts, formatting for languages, extensibility, speed and the ability to use both fixed width and proportional fonts.)

• XAMPP^of provides a nice Apache server which is very useful
  when creating websites as you can test them on your very own
  in-computer server.

• Foxmail^f is my email of choice. It has a good interface (be sure to delete the Chinese language option as they warn you — unless you happen to read Chinese. I don’t), it doesn’t have Outlook’s vulnerabilities and I happen to like its looks . You may, however, wish for better Spam and Junk Mail filtering. It does have a nice HTML composer.

• ePrompter^f is my Hotmail grabber of choice. It gets the mail directly with no browser involvement and will delete items from your Inbox, but you’ll have to check in with Hotmail every now and again if you want to check your junk mail.

Vector Graphics:

• Corel Draw has been my favorite for many years, but Corel’s insistence upon charging lots of money for each and every update (I finally stopped at Version 12,all the way from 1) has dampened my excitement.

• I have also used Adobe Illustrator but stopped at 7 for the same reasons (and, probably, that my professional need vanished).

• I now quite often use Inkscape^of and have found it handles everything that I have yet thrown at it
  rather nicely. However, I must admit that my needs are not necessarily someone else’s. Also, the UI is not as easy for me to pick up as Corel Draw or Adobe Illustrator, but I have persevered and now can use it quite readily enough.

Raster Graphics:

• Corel PhotoPaint has been my most used editor for many, many years (see comments about Corel Draw).

• I have used Adobe Photoshop, but I only got to version 5.5 before costs, in my opinion, exceeded
  benefits (and I had no more commercial use for it).

• I now mostly use the GIMP^of. I know that many do not like the UI. I am not especially fond of
  it either. However, I have not found anything that I could not do in the GIMP. Of course, I cannot claim to have tried everything.

• ArtRage^f
  is not Corel Painter, but of similar concept. For someone of my very limited artistic talent, it is actually overkill but I love to play with it. Corel Painter Essentials is the next step up from ArtRage and Corel Painter IX.5 and above are way up in the stratosphere. My daughter, the artist, can use these programs, but they’re way above me!

Desktop Publishing:

• I love Adobe InDesign, Adobe Framemaker, and have used Adobe PageMaker. I have used them all at one time or another.
  They all do very nice work and each has its own special strengths. They’re great for those who make money using them in their business, i.e., they cost a lot, but produce excellent professional results rather easily and have great support. Also, the business pays for them!

• I now mostly use Scribus^of.I find that I can do almost everything that I could with the Adobe products. I certainly can do everything that I now want to do using Scribus.

Utilities:

General

• I like Launchy^of. It searches for links and other types of files that you specify and will then find and launch them as you begin to type in the name of the program / folder (I have found that even many misspellings get
  you the item you want, usually with just the first two or three letters. I find it a wonderful tool for reducing desktop and start menu clutter. Of course, when I forget the name of a program, it doesn’t help much!

• I use CCleaner^f for many of my housekeeping tasks. This program will clean your browsers’ (IE, Firefox, Opera) caches, windows temporary files and some program temporary files and, should you so specify, securely erase them. It will also do limited registry cleaning and will perform uninstalls much quicker than Microsoft’s equivalent.

• I use Hard
  Disk Scrubber^f occasionally. This program securely erases all the free space on a hard drive. I use this program whenever I get rid an old hard drive. I delete all files and then securely erase the free space, which is, at that time, the whole drive.

• Karen’s Power Tools contain many, many useful items. Most are free.

• Fresh Devices has lots of interesting and useful tools. Viewer, FTP and TweakUI are the ones I use most. Free with registration (IE7 claims the Fresh Devices website to be a phishing site. I’m not sure that I agree).

• Net Transport and FTP Transport are great tools for doing just what they say, setting up FTP transfers and
  transfers of just about any other streaming net services.

• Virtual Daemon Manager^f is something that I find to be useful. Now that hard drives are big enough to everything except massive numbers of pirated DVDs, I find it extremely useful to keep my most used CDs on the harddrive ready for whenever they are needed. Daemon Tools uses ISO images and makes these images available by drive letter as if they were another drive.

• Startup Control Panel^f allows you to view all items that run at startup and to STOP the ones that somehow got there without you wanting them. It is very useful if you are a software junkie like me and often find yourself with a loaded Task Bar.

• TaskSwitchXP Pro^f is my favorite replacement for Alt+Tab switching. It gives you a very nice thumbnail view of each of the tasks between which you are switching. I find it very useful, especially between different open
  browser windows (not tabs).

• Ditto^fo is presently my favorite clipboard manager. I only turn it on, however, when I need its services.

• Keepass^of is my password keeper. It is safely encrypted, whenever minimized it locks the database, and it has lots of room with flexibility in assigning folders and etc. When you copy a password, it only allows it to be pasted once. Of course, if you are using a clipboard manager like Ditto, you have to erase your tracks left there.

• xplorer2 is a useful Windows Explorer replacement or enhancement. It opens
  two panes which you can switch between and has many advanced features.

• Winmover is a utility that use quite often. It allows one to hold down ctrl+alt and, with the left mouse button, move a window by clicking anywhere in that window. It also has the nice feature of toggling at the edges of the screen. While holding ctrl+alt and using the right mouse button, One can resize any resizable window.

Spyware

• I periodically use both Ad-Aware SE Personal^f and Spybot^f to see whether or not I have picked up any spyware. I keep my computer as clean as possible, so rarely does either detect anything.

• I credit Prevx Intrusion Prevention with much of keeping my computer clean. This software monitors and requires your permission for certain changes, such as registry changes to be made.

• I also use Microsoft’s Windows Defender. Redundancy is, in my opinion, the most fail-safe method of assuring a non-compromised computer.

Anti-virus

• I use AVG Free and like it very well. It scores well on all the tests. Only a few are better and they are not free. However, they may be better for many people, especially the non computer literate.

Fonts

• I like X-fonter freeware version^f for perusing and displaying my many fonts. It tells you just about anything you might want to know about a font, shows character maps, but does not allow easy copying of individual characters. It also allows you to install and uninstall fonts.

• ExtendedCharacterMap is similar to X-Fonter. It gives less font information, but does display the selected characters in huge sizes and can copy the characters selected to the clipboard.

PIM

• Essential PIM Free^f is a handy little personal information manager. It does everything that I want to do, including alarms, ToDos, schedules, notes and contacts. A portable version is available.

Firewall

• Zone Alarm^f (free edition) is installed on my laptop. I am using Kerio-personal^f on another computer. They are both capable firewalls.

Audio and Video:

• Goldwave^sw is a great audio recorder and editor. It will even generate waves from mathematical input.

• Noteworthy Composer^sw is a simple, but attractive music notation editor and player. I also use Print
  Music, a commercial program that has nice resources, such as the ability to scan in printed scores and play in music from a MIDI keyboard in real time.

• RealmAlternative (Media Classic Player)^f will playmalmost all known music formats, including Real Media. It saves you all the ads and other hassle associated with Real Player and many other free but not ad free players.

Toys and Eye Candy

• Transbar^f allows you to set the transparency level of the Task Bar. It’s kind of useful because it allows you to see stuff hidden by the Task Bar. Of course, you can always hide the Task Bar, but this makes it more fun.

• Locate32^f is my present desktop file search program. I know that there is lots of competition in this area, but this one is very fast and takes very little space.

Something Different:

• vmware player^f provides a way of testing and using other operating systems within Windows
  (Linux fans don’t get excited — I said I would cover Linux later). “Images” are created of the operating system you want to run and these run in a window within Windows. At present I have ubuntu Linux 6.06 and
  Foresight Linux 0.9.5 that I use. I prefer the ubuntu. Many different images are available on the Internet. You could even run Windows within Windows if you, for example, wanted say a Windows 95 machine and didn’t want to dedicate hardware for some reason. Crashes of the system within vmware player do not
  necessarily crash windows.
  

• Again, to placate Linux fans, I do have a dedicated Suse 10.1 computer.

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